I’ve had my fashion blog now over 3/4 years and yet I feel like it’s had a big impact on my life. However, in this modern age, it’s hard to try and make yourself stand out from the crowd, to get yourself noticed. This has made me feel as if I have a long way to go to get it out there still. Working a full-time job, juggling a social life around trying to do posts and YouTube videos have always been tricky for me, even when I plan ahead. Whenever I write about an OOTD post I never feel it’s good enough which always makes me doubt myself and what I do, my fashion blog has always been about my fashion and how I love crossing the realms of wearing different things that people wouldn’t normally wear or deem to what boys would/should wear. Over the past couple of months, I’ve felt my fashion has taken a very casual and street style approach which has also made me feel like I’m starting to lose the “Quirky Curls Fashion” people have come to know me by. It’s the same when I upload a video to YouTube and then I go look at others, I always feel theirs are better or edited so much better. It’s a constant cycle that happens every single time. Blogging is hard and when you sit in front of that keyboard and you think, “Right, what can I write about today?” For someone who doesn’t really have a very interesting life, it’s hard. When you live in a city and have the rush and bustle of the city life, it’s easier having things to do when you live in a city than that of a rural place, about an hour or so away from the nearest main city. Photographs are always within woodlands, fields or back lanes. Whereas some of the most famous fashion bloggers, always use urban backdrops to showcase their outfits. I feel like my presence on Instagram is getting stronger every time I post. However not so much when I post on my Fashion blog or YouTube. YouTube is something I seriously enjoy, recording videos and then editing, adding music and text, adding cool effects. It’s such an enjoyable day when I can do this, but it’s so disheartening when you do this and it’s only watched by 60 people. I’ve never been one to care about views and followers, but in this day and age, it’s the main focus.
However, on the flip side to this, my fashion blog and YouTube have helped me get through some pretty tough times through my life. The whole reason I started was because of being in a relationship where the other person controlled what I wore because he didn’t like being seen in public with what I wore because it would embarrass him. After that relationship ended my world kind of crashed down. Being my first proper relationship it was hard, looking back I realise just how stupid I was because he would repress who I actually was. I needed something to focus my time and energy on. This is where Quirky Curls Fashion was born. After that struggle my weight plummeted, which is where eating disorders found its way into my life. My fashion blog was the only place that made me feel good about myself and made me feel like I was okay. After a dealing with all of that, I found someone and fell in love with them which helped me so much. But slowed my fashion blog down as I spent most of my free time with him. I’ve always suffered from severe anxiety but I found it became too much during my relationship and due to other things going on at the time. I went and got help for it and was put on medication. Through my fashion blog I talked on a YouTube video about how bad I felt, so many people could related and talked me through what I should do and it made me feel so much better knowing it wasn’t just me dealing with such a horrible thing. If it wasn’t for my fashion blog I wouldn’t of been able to reach out to those people who were in the same situation or have dealt with anxiety too. Another breakup and again I came straight to my fashion blog where I changed big time. I changed the way I looked by growing a beard and even dying my hair a completely different colour. But more importantly the way I dressed. Just from a comment that the guy who was breaking up with me said, no more sparked the change the whole outlook of who I was. No more was the “Quirky Curls” done up in every outfit. I started to dress more casual and making sure I posted to my fashion blog every week and this is where I’m at today. I want to be able to do things justice. While trying to save up and move out, I find it impossible to buy clothes, I’m torn between wanting to buy the New Season must have or to actually move out. I feel my blog is something that is just getting neglected and I don’t want that because it’s made me who I am today. I sometimes just don’t know what to write about, I get writer’s block and then I doubt myself that it’s any good to the point where I think people will not read this at all. I’m constantly battling myself to be this person people want to be inspired by, I am that person! I want to be that person. I just need to try to find a balance with everything I do. I need to think of ideas and write about things that inspire me or things that I love instead of just Fashion. I don’t want this blog to die, I want it to be strong and to inspire people. I want it to be just like me all those times I was downtrodden. I want people who go through things that they don’t feel they can talk to anyone else to read my blog and believe they can. That’s what this blog to be about!